Mop your brow, cancel all cardiologists’ leave and come out from behind the sofa.
Shoaib Bashir, England’s last action hero shortly before 4.50pm in a golden Lord’s sunset, broke India’s hearts while most of us couldn’t bear to watch through our fingers. Last man Mohammed Siraj, who began the day being docked 15 per cent of his match fee, could barely drag himself away from the crease after jabbing down on Bashir's off-break, only for the ball to keep spinning behind his pads and dislodge the leg bail.
As Bashir wheeled away in triumph, England went 2-1 up in the series after a 22-run win in the third Rothesay Test which will be remembered for years as a crown jewel of the sporting summer. Bashir’s broken little finger on his left hand, after dropping a sharp chance in India’s first innings, will rule him out for the rest of the series and he was off the field for most of their dramatic chase.
But after being introduced to the attack almost as an afterthought, Bashir’s twirl provided the final twist in a spellbinding contest which somehow looked to be slipping away from England. The unbearable tension was reminiscent of Edgbaston in 2005, when England sneaked home by two runs after Steve Harmison bounced out Australia ’s last man Michael Kasprowicz.
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Here, salvation Harmy was only ringing the bell before start of play at Headquarters. But just as Freddie Flintoff commiserated with undefeated Aussie Brett Lee in a spectacular moment of sportsmanship 20 years ago, this time it was Joe Root - England’s top scorer in both innings - who consoled invincible Indian all-rounder Ravindra Jadeja.
While Bashir’s walk-on part supplied the punchline, there were other England heroes on a red-letter date in the calendar. There’s something special about the combination of Bastille Day, Lord’s and gut-wrenching drama.
It was on July 14 six years ago that Ben Stokes and Jofra Archer were the heroes of England’s sensational super-over triumph in the World Cup final. This time they bowled themselves to a standstill in another epic which left a nation’s fingernails chewed down to the quick.

Chasing 193 for victory, India’s cause looked hopeless at 112-8. But Jadeja’s unbeaten 61, a stupendous feat of concentration and farming the strike for 181 balls, took them desperately close to a remarkable burglary. Archer, whose match figures of 7-107 vindicated his Test comeback after four years in the transit lounge, barged open the door to victory by sending danger man Rishabh Pant’s off stump cartwheeling with a beauty and a superb one-handed return catch to dismiss Washington Sundar.
Captain Stokes, who flogged himself through 44 overs, was immense, not least his removal of adhesive opener KL Rahul and Jasprit Bumrah, who frustrated England for 72 minutes. And Root, another veteran of the 2019 World Cup final, grinned: "There's something about this date, it was always going to be an epic finish.
“It was a bit of theatre and, yes, it made for a great Test match. I am excited for the last two, for sure." But spare a thought for Jadeja, whose fourth consecutive half-century took India to the brink of glory.
When Chris Woakes winkled out Nitish Kumar Reddy on the stroke of lunch, the chequered flag was still 81 runs away and India were in Watership Down territory - only two tail-end rabbits left. Bumrah, 10 ducks in his last 14 Tests, and Siraj (average 4.89, highest score 16) do not have batting pedigrees in the class of Sachin Tendulkar, Sunil Gavaskar and Rahul David.
But like every modern franchise cricketer, especially seasoned warriors of the Indian Premier League, they can hold a bat. And as India's target melted from a distant mirage to the mid-horizon, England fans in the sell-out 31,000 crowd felt flickers of anxiety turning into the dreaded rectal twitch.
Jadeja doesn’t buckle under pressure. Two years ago, he needed 10 off the final two balls of an IPL final and hit a six followed by a boundary to win it for the Chennai Super Kings. But Bumrah finally cracked with 46 runs still needed, heaving unnecessarily at a Stokes bouncer and presenting sub Sam Cook, back-pedalling furiously at mid-on, with a steepling catch.
Seldom, if ever, has a substitute had so long to think about a catch - and the ramifications if he grassed it - as Cook. But the one-cap wonder, who made his debut against Zimbabwe at Trent Bridge in May, clung on for dear life.
Even then, India were not finished. Siraj, fined by match referee Sir Richie Richardson for his in-your-face send-off for Ben Duckett on Sunday, helped Jadeja take it to the final session. Enter Bashir, with his damaged left hand heavily bandaged, to have the final say.
What a finish. Pass the plink-plink fizz and draw the curtains, nurse.
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